The Mind of Jason

Today ... smh...what a day...had to leave work early to get a file b/c the original copy I emailed to Ray didnt have any of the updates in it. I dont know what happened....fuck yes I do..I made the changes on My laptop but emailed the file from My desktop...duhhhh ...had a fight with verizon over a bill...

but whats worse is I know she is having a bad day today...she hasnt told Me she is, but I can feel it...she is having a rough time.... she is scared and alone...I want to go to her and give her My strength but I cant...Wwe talked about this before she left and she made Me understand why she needs to do this alone and why she has to go to the scary and lonely places like she is now...but that doesnt mean I have to like being so helpless to help her...

I feel her need to call out to Me and have Me help her....I know that no matter how much she wants it she is fighting the urge because she needs to find her limit to her own strength..and to build on it for herself and for Uus down the road....it is so hard not to answer that unspoken call.....*sigh*...but sometimes the best way to show someone you love them is to let them get through a hard time on their own. It lets them grow stronger and gives them something to be proud of...lets them know that when things are hard for them that they will be ok even if they are alone...but it is so hard for Me...and I know its harder for her...